Measuring Progress in Diarrhea

There's just something about Valentine's Day that brings calamity to my family and home. My husband and I both vaguely remember something disastrous happened last year, but not exactly what. Was it the leak that started in our brand-new kitchen ceiling and traveled all the way across the house in a straight line to the hallway and powder room (thereby destroying my wallpaper?)

What I will never forget is the V Day of two years ago. The twins were almost one, and they both started the day out fine. But right after dinner, after I appreciatively glanced at the red long stems my husband thoughtfully sent me, the projectile barfing started. First my baby daughter, and then my baby son. All the while, my older daughter was crying and complaining about how gross it was and that she was scared. It was hard to know who to clean off first. They were both covered in puke. I'm pretty sure I served them pasta with red sauce that night, so you can imagine how lovely the puke was. I was literally gagging as I hastily cleaned up the puke off their highchair trays and floor, then I removed one twin at a time, stripped their clothes off and wiped them down and brought all three kids upstairs for a bath.

Only one of them barfed in bed that night. But they both had diarrhea the next day, accompanied by a cherry red diaper rash. My pediatrician told me to ride out the diarrhea and stick to a bland diet (plain pasta, bagels, toast, white rice, bananas, apple sauce). And for the diaper rash, he just said to try a combination of Neosporin and Triple Paste. That combo was not doing anything to calm down the pain or redness on my twins' butts, though. So I called my sister, a mother of two boys. She said her pediatrician had told her recently to use Lotrimin AF (anti-fungal) on her baby boy's red butt. Reason being that diaper rash is a form of a yeast-like infection. I had our local drug store deliver some to my house (a great service for desperate moms with sick little kids!) and slathered it on two behinds. It did work better than what my pediatrician recommended. The redness and pain subsided within 24 hours.

This year, the Diarrhea Fairy visited my twins again, just in time for Valentine's Day. But now my twins, almost three years old, are both fully potty trained. So I'm not dealing with heinously stinky neon green liquid poops and fiery red bottoms. They sprinted to the toilet a few times, but that was it. Perhaps the biggest downside was that they drank my husband's entire stash of Gatorade in three days and missed a couple of days of preschool. Some things, like diarrhea, get much easier to deal with as your twins get older. I'm not wishing my twins young childhood away by any means. Rather, I'm trying to keep the worst parts in perspective, because it makes the best parts seem that much better. How do you deal with diarrhea and puke when your twins are both sick?

Opposite Thinking

Sigh. My boy/girl twins are approaching 3 years this Spring, therefore they are not in their side-by-side stroller as often as they were during their baby time and toddler hood. They are pretty good about holding my hand, so that's not the problem. Rather, it's that it's harder for new acquaintances to recognize that they are twins. They do look very different. To boot, my daughter is a speck taller and meatier (some folks assume she's a year older than her twin), and my son is fairer and chattier. I'm getting fewer and fewer inquiries about their twin-ness when we are out and about. Not like my twins care, but I do.

Funny thing is that, of course, it used to annoy me when randoms would approach me at the grocery store, and ask questions like, "Are they identical?" I'd think, "One is dressed in pink and one is dressed in blue for a reason. They are different genders. So how can they be identical?" But I'd restrain myself and engage in a quick conversation with curious folks, even when I was on a tight schedule, worried about naps and the next feeding and their big sister's activities. I'd figure out ways to emancipate myself politely (or not) and get on the check out line and into the car.

So, moms of boy/girl twins, or different-looking fraternals, enjoy the fuss, even if it makes you late. Because it'll be over before you know it. Even though you will always know how special your twins are, it's nice to hear that the world appreciates them, too.

Despite the lack of public attention, it's been really fun to be the mom of fraternal twins lately. We're in the process of planning their birthday bash and what kind of theme we'll have. A Cinderella dinosaur party, or a Butterfly hockey fete? Any suggestions? We're all ears. All three of us.

Show me the love!

For many months now I have been secretly fearful that my twins, fraternal boys, 20 months old, lack the twin bond. Other than first thing in the morning, when they wake and immediately seek each other out to say hello, they have seemed pretty disinterested in one another. I have observed and know many sets of young twins who share an incredible bond: in a crowded room, they only have eyes for each other; at preschool, they speak a common language; in music class, they look out for each other, making sure their twin has a stick for his drum and someone to hold hands with while singing. It's the type of stuff most people envision when they hear they are going to have twins, I know I did.

So imagine my dismay as I've watched my guys behave somewhat ambivalently toward each other for as long as they have been aware of each other. Actually, there has never been too much fighting, more of an "I could take him or leave him" attitude. They show great interest in their parents as well as their older brothers, but as far as each other, not so much. While this has been a relatively small concern on my list of parenting worries, I have felt envious of other moms whose twins seem to adore each other. And I've wondered when -- and how -- my guys would get clued in to the fact that they have such a wonderful gift in each other.

I'm happy to say, my wondering is over. Yesterday, I caught them "bumping rocks" (knocking their fists together, like a modern high-five). They just learned how to do this, and they have been very demanding of me and my husband, asking us to bump their fists over and over throughout the day. But yesterday, they started bumping each other and simply cracking up with glee. I saw them from afar and it made my heart melt. Today, I gave them their first post-haircut lollipops. They were not entirely sure what to do with the pops, so they put them in their mouths sideways, like tango dancers do with roses. They were hysterical, each thinking the other was the funniest guy he'd ever seen.

I feel relieved. We're moving in the right direction here! I hope they retain that sense of wonder in each other as life becomes more complicated and they need each other for more than a few laughs.