Bittersweet Celebrations

The day before my twins' third birthday, my husband and I did a congratulatory high-five. "We made it!" we said. We were celebrating that some of the hardest parts of parenting our twins were behind us. Later that night we, along with Cathy and her husband, had the pleasure of attending a fundraiser for the Tiny Miracles Foundation (ttmf.org), a non-profit organization that provides support to parents of premature babies (born before 37 weeks). Since about fifty percent of twins are born prematurely, and since some of our friends are very involved with the organization and have had premature singletons or twins themselves, we were compelled to go and learn more about this group.It started out like any other benefit, with cocktails and conversation. We sat down at tables to eat dinner, and then the night took an emotional turn. We were treated to a very poignant documentary about the founders of the group and some of its members--as well as some of the families whose lives they have touched. I should've worn waterproof mascara because it was a tear-jerker. It was story after story about weeks spent in the NICU and the wide range of emotions parents go through--fear, isolation, anger, shock. The parents were so grateful for the sensitive care they got from the NICU doctors and nurses, and from the Tiny Miracles volunteers, mostly parents who've been in the NICU themselves. My takeaway was that sometimes, the most consoling thing a parent can hear will come from another parent who's been in a similar situation. It's a powerful pipeline.As I watched footage of moms who had twins in the NICU, I couldn't help but feel guilty about what I complained about after my twins were born. I wasn't always so sure I was capable of being a good mom to my baby twins and preschooler daughter. I can only imagine how much less sure I'd have been if I was in the NICU with my twins.Regardless of whether or not you experience the NICU, having multiples is an extreme parenting experience. It is hard. But it can bring out the best in you if you take advantage of moments to reflect on how good you really have it.The morning after the party, my twins woke up at 4:30 a.m. Brutal! That's about 2 hours earlier than normal. I was exhausted and cranky. Not the kind of mom you want to be on your twins' third birthday. After I had a cup of coffee, I tried to get over myself and accept that it was going to be a long day, albeit a special one.