Hot celeb moms of twins

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. If you saw this week's SAG awards then you saw the Desperate Housewife and mom of almost one-year old twin girls, Marcia Cross, looking elegant in a fitted jewel-tone gown with stunning coral and diamond baubles. She told E! that her hubby was home watching the girls. I figured there was no way she got ready at home unless someone kept her adorable girls and their sticky fingers far away from her gown. I can't imagine leaving my house looking that immaculate.

I also saw supermodel-turned-BRAVO-TV-host Nikki Taylor this morning on Ellen while I was doing my knee exercises (part of my new physical therapy plan). She has twin sons who are seven and she has recovered from a traumatic car crash (she suffered a terrible internal blow to the liver). She has really inspired me to take my physical rehabilitation seriously for my kids. She said wanting to be with her boys, who were babies at the time, helped her pull through over 40 surgeries.

Moms of twins are tough, even if they are gorgeous enough to be the youngest model ever to grace the cover of VOGUE. Which celeb mom of twins inspires you? Julia Roberts? JLo? Tell us!

What about the constantly smoking hot twin daddy Patrick Dempsey, aka Dr. Mc Dreamy from Grey's Anatomy? He inspires me to wish really hard that the writer's strike was over so we could see new episodes!

Twin Security

My son pretty much missed about two weeks of school thanks to a cold turned pneumonia. And this was the first time that he was out sick that his twin sister didn't complain that she wanted to stay home with me too. Amongst the two of them, she is more obviously emotionally attached to me and him. He seems more independent. I was happy that she seemed excited to go to school by herself. It was a big step for her. I think she also relished the role of being her brother's spokesperson while he was out, relaying messages to him from his friends and giving their classmates updates on his health. When I brought him back with her this Monday, she was definitely glad to have her buddy there again. They really are so cute!

Longer maternity leaves for moms of multiples?

Cathy and I had some meetings in NYC last Friday to help drum up some ideas to market and promote our book. We met with one savvy mom of boy/girl twins in her fancy office which overlooks Times Square. During our interesting conversation about how our business interests can synergize, she asked us if we'd heard about how some moms of multiples think they deserve longer maternity leaves from work. We consider ourselves experts on all things twins so we were a little embarrassed that she had to bring it across our radar screens. I just did a quick Google search and read that some moms in a MOMs group in Canada are thinking about lobbying the government to consider making some beneficial changes. We are fascinated by this topic and would love to be further educated on it. If you have anything to share or add, please post it in our comments section on our blog. If you have a hard time posting a comment, you can email me at christina@twinsetmoms.com. Thanks!

My School Separation Dilemma

I am sort of retro-blogging here. I actually realized I had the following problem back in the first week of January, but it is so unsettling to me that I try not to think about it. So here goes: my twins go to a great preschool where the slots for the next year are determined by lottery to make it fair for all the moms (slots are for mornings or afternoons). Of course, most moms want mornings, and moms who have afternoons one year pray for a good lottery ticket to get mornings for the next year. I have been very lucky in the 5 years my kids have been at this school. I had an afternoon draw when my oldest was two and I was pregnant with the twins, but that was no biggie because I just had one kid to deal with. I had mornings for my oldest when she was three and four and I was desperate to get her out of the house for a while so I could just deal with the twins. The twins had mornings as two and three year olds, but next year I have one morning slot and one afternoon slot! How's that for a new twist on the school separation issue some parents of twins face? Worst case scenario is that I flip my coveted morning ticket for an afternoon slot come August. Best case scenario is that the waiting list moves, because I am numero uno on that for a morning slot. I have a plan B, though--which is really essential for a mom of twins when it comes to dealing with her multiples in many situations. I have applied to another pre-school. I won't know if they get in there until March, but I am pretty sure they will at least be dropped off and picked up at the same time. Who could ask for anything more?

Double Home Re-Decorators

Cathy and I had a meeting at her house to read a final version of our book. We sat at her kitchen table and she apologized for a yogurt smear on the wall behind her. I looked at her like, "Are you kidding? This is me you are talking to. I wrote the book on twins with you." I would have been more surprised to not see any signs of her four boys on the wall right behind where they eat several meals a day. In my home, there are three blatant reminders of our twins on our walls. The first is a dime-size white chip on our chocolate painted family room wall (mind you, just painted about 6 months ago). One of the twins did that while chasing the other with a wooden spoon while I was cooking at the stove about 8 feet away. The white mark is only 5 inches above the back of the sofa, so it's low enough that we can't hang a picture on top of it because the twins will surely knock the frame off the wall at some point. The second is a black smear of shoe polish on the pale aqua walls in my bedroom. Both twins deny that one, but I have my suspicions that it is my son because I have seen him do that in my bedroom about a year ago with brown shoe polish. That's what my husband gets for trying to save a few bucks and shine his own shoes. The third isn't actually on a wall but on our marble kitchen island counter top and on one of the cabinets below. The marks are little dried globs of light purple metallic nailpolish. My little girl is definitely to blame for that one. It's funny to think that in the home furnishing business furniture is sold in finishes like "distressed" "weathered" and "antiqued." I have a new category or the furniture biz: "twinned."

Doctor Hopping

Wardrobe: back to black yoga pants. Slight upgrade from yesterday. Itinerary: Yesterday pediatrician. Today dentist (I had a cavity filled). Tomorrow orthopedist (for my knee). Saturday pediatrician (to re-check my son's lungs and see if pneumonia is clearing. I am pretty sure it's Restaurant Week in NYC. But I am living the glamorous life in doctors' waiting rooms instead.

I had to bring my sick son with me to the dentist this morning. And without his twin sister there (she was in preschool) he was an angel. He sat still and played with his Transformer toy for 30 minutes without barely making a peep. Without his sidekick, he really can be so well-behaved. And she's usually so good when he's not around. I guess my advice is split them up when you can when they are toddlers and preschoolers so you can get a glimpse of each twin acting like the lovely child you hope you are raising.

It's a gray sweatpants day--ugh

I barely slept a wink last night because I was so worried about my son. I realized that he did not have a tummy virus, but that his week-old cold had taken a turn for the worse. I was exhausted from working on the book, doing the family ironing (it's been piling up for about a month), changing all the sheets in the house and dealing with the laundry, caring for the kids, and an upper body work out at the gym (that's all I can really do right now because of my bum knee). Despite being physically zonked, I tossed and turned fearing that he had pneumonia (mind you, tossing and turning while wearing a knee brace is a challenge). This morning, at the pediatrician, I learned I was right. I hate being right sometimes. I know he'll get better soon, thanks to modern medicine. But I feel so badly for the little guy. He's just not himself and his eyes look glassy instead of gleaming with mischief.

This morning I didn't even don my current wardrobe stable of black yoga pants (which stretch nicely over my giant knee brace). I went right for the gray sweats. I only reserve those for taking the kids to the indoor pool at our Y in the winter or for changing into at the end of the day, before I give the twins a bath and know I'll be soaked. My yoga pants seem a little dressier and more dignified, as they are black. Let's hope tomorrow is a wide-leg trouser day. I can dream, can't I?

Wild Rice Puke

If you've read any archives of our blog, you'll see that some sort of tummy trauma usually strikes my kids around Valentine's Day. This year, I am feeling the love early. Last night, at about 2:30 am, my little guy called for us. He was burning up with a fever and we rushed him to the bathroom because he'd coughed up a little puke globule. He made it to the toilet on time to regurgitate the wild rice my husband made for dinner (yes, I am lucky enough to have a man who helps me with the cooking sometimes). We didn't see the grilled pork loin or Brussel sprouts emerge, and I was glad for that. Fortunately, he kept all his food and fluids down today. But he doesn't look right to me. I am going to take him to the doctor tomorrow while his big sis and twin sis are at school. Twin sis is going to pitch a fit that he gets to stay home with me, but she'll get over it. When it's the other way around, my son is psyched to be on his own at school. Makes me sad for the day he gets married and ditches me! Let's hope it's just a virus and not something worse.

In case you are wondering what the heck has happened to Cathy, I'm here to tell you that I had a sighting today. The poor dear is totally swamped. Not only is she making sure her four boys are okay, but she's working four days a week (and commuting for an hour plus each way on three of those days). She's launching a big work project on Thursday of this week, so maybe she'll be back here soon. In the meantime, I'll keep you posted on her if need be. I joke with her a lot that if we weren't writing this book together I'd never see her.

Blog Conscious

This Thursday we had a great meeting in NYC with the people at our book publishing company (Crown) who are going to help promote and sell our book. One of the biggest takeways for us is that we need to blog more regularly and not be so darned formal about it. Cathy and I were hugely relieved to hear that. See, we've been trying to write this tidy essays that tie back to our book or our twins. But our publisher said that we can push the envelope a bit more and write about other stuff in our lives like wardrobe challenges and friendship dilemmas. How juicy! Let's see if our newfound freedom inspires us to blog more often. My biggest wardrobe challenge right now is finding pants that fit over my left knee brace, which goes from my thigh to my ankle. I have been wearing lots of black yoga pants with sweaters during the week, which is comfy but dangerous. Yoga pants are great if you are actually staying fit and practicing yoga. But evil if you are physically restricted like me right now...the belly can expand and expand and the pants still fit and feel comfy. You know what that means, right? The only way to keep honest about my exercise-deprived body right now is to step on a scale. No thank you. I think I get to start physical therapy in about a week, so I can justify wearing yoga pants again then. How's that for rationalization?

Playing the "Twins" card

Just two months ago, I was trying to snap a Christmas card photo of my three kids while my oldest had a playdate over (an only child). The playdate, seeing how my trio was fooling around and not listening to me, remarked, "This is why my mom only has me. More than one is too much work." I promptly agreed that they are a lot of work, but they are mine and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Most moms of twins must have heard some variation of this kind of remark at some point. And usually, I don't like it when acquaintances or strangers cast pity upon me because of my blessings. But sometimes, I take the twin card and play it to my advantage, full well knowing that if I mention I have young twins, I may get better treatment out of sympathy.



When my twins took naps, I always told whomever was coming over to do minor work around the house (clean the chimney or clean a carpet) that they had to come and finish before the nap or after the nap. Most service providers respected my requests when I mentioned the twin factor. And when the twins or their big sister get sick and need medical attention, I remind the appointment-booker that I have twins to see if I can get a time slot that works best for me and the kids. These are all pretty innocuous examples. But this week, I hit an all new low in my sympathy seeking. All because of a silly spill I took on my kitchen floor.



Tuesday morning, the kids had just finished breakfast (I could tell by the amount of food on the floor, not by what was left on their plates), and the twins started fooling around with an apron. I calmly walked over to them to break up the nonsense, and wham, I hit the floor knees-first. I heard a pop and was shocked that I hurt myself in such a silly way. I couldn't shake off the pain in my left knee and I knew I wanted a professional to take a look at it. When I called for an appointment with the orthopedist, I was quick to mention that I am a mom of three young kids including a set of twins and was dropping all three off at school. The appointment-booker said, "I see. How about an 8:40 or a 9:40?" I couldn't believe how accommodating she was.



During my appointment the physician's assistant gave me a range of possibilities for the damage in my knee and told me I'd need a brace to stabilize my knee until we got the MRI results. It was a hassle to get the right brace, and during the ordeal I had a tearful breakdown. The woman fitting my brace really seemed stone-cold until I burst out, "You don't understand. I am a mom. Of twins. They are only 3 and a half." That prompted her to hand me a box of tissues and say, "Take all the time you need honey. I am having a bad day, too."



Reminding folks that I am a mom of young twins also got me a convenient afternoon appointment to get my MRI results today. I know it won't change the outcome of the damage, but at least if it's more than a sprain and I tore something serious, I may get better bedside manner along the way.



Even though I do want my medical care givers to feel sorry for me, I am trying not to wallow in self-pity. Thankfully, I can shuffle around and do laundry and cook and drive my kids to where they need to be. And my husband was awesome enough to take off two days of work so I could elevate and ice properly. I have a feeling he played the twin card with his co-workers, too.

The Prodigal Bloggers

We're baaack! We are sure we aren't the only mommy bloggers who have made one of their top New Year's resolutions: Blog more regularly. But we have taken many steps to ensure that we will stick to our promise to ourselves and our readers who enjoyed what we had to say when we first launched our website: we've dealt with some technological glitches (thanks Rob), and we've read lots and lots of other mommy blogs to erase any fears that we had that we weren't really blogging properly. Another big hurdle: we are almost done writing our book (Twin Set: Moms of Multiples Share Survive and Thrive Secrets, The Crown Publishing Group, July 2008). Truth be told, writing this book took more time, energy, babysitting, obscenely early morning wake-ups (or in Cathy's case, late nights), coffee, diet Coke, Advil and red wine than I thought it would. But like most things in life, what you work hardest at usually has the biggest rewards. We really do think this book will be helpful to many, many moms of multiples out there.



This book is truly a labor of love, and I consider it to be my fourth child. It took us about a year to write the business pitch/book proposal, find an agent and get a book deal. Then there was the matter of actually writing the survey, putting it on-line, culling the results, and writing the book. One thing that helped us get it all done was constantly asking our editor to give us deadlines. We needed to know what was expected of us at all times so that we could plan for our top priorities: our families. Our editor was pleasantly surprised that we were so into having deadlines, but we just told her it was a twin mom thing (we are sure many of you know what we mean). We handed in the first draft of our book in the beginning of summer 07, rewrote the entire book over the summer, revised it again this fall, and we are now waiting for it to come back to us in a couple of weeks as a complete printed entity.



In addition to crafting the survey and writing the book, we've been busy (like you) raising our kids. My twins are now 3 1/2. I think they were only 15 months when we started this venture. I have now moved into the phase of parenting where I often feel more like a referee than a mom. When the twins are fighting with each other or their big sis (now 6 1/2), I often quote that guy Tim Gunn from Bravo's Project Runway, saying "Make it work!" The moms who answered our survey (each and every one is amazing) really gave me some great advice about treating twins like individuals. When they are old enough to get in verbal and physical scuffles with each other, many of our survey moms recommend letting the twins resolve things themselves so it doesn't look like you are playing favorites.



Twins, at least mine, do keep track of how mommy parents. Mine are also smart enough to tell me when they think I am being unfair. One thing I have done this school year to help them feel more like individuals is place them in separate activities. My son really seems to relish having his own boy time: he can't wait for the two times a week he has his sports activities (which he chose). And his twin sister feels equally excited about her dance and gymnastics class. I think it's easy for them to enjoy this independence because they still share the same bedroom and preschool class. They need their breathing room.



This creates more work for me, however, because instead of having the luxury of dropping off two kids for 45 minutes, I am only dropping off one and having to find ways to keep the other entertained in the parent waiting area or run a quick errand with a twin in tow. Again, the extra work for me is usually worth it. Once in a while, the twin who is not busy in the activity will cheer for the other one who is earning another stripe on his karate belt or showing off her version of the Chinese Tea dance from the Nutcracker with her fellow ballerinas. Giving my twins room to explore their own interests seems to give them more appreciation for each other. Well, at least for about 45 minutes, four times a week (two activities for each twin). Then it's back to me saying, "Make it work."