Will the twin challenges never cease?
Life has been pretty busy of late and I am really feeling the heat (literally and figuratively, it's so hot on the east coast right now!). I am desperately trying to juggle my family, job, the book release, new home, etc. But the greatest source of angst for me has to do with my 3 year-old twins.
Many months ago I registered both of them for a week at a nature camp that starts Monday. The camp requires its students to be fully potty trained. Back in May, when I went cold turkey with them, one of my guys got it and has been great ever since (although he did poop in his pants several times in a week when we moved to our new house, so clearly there was some internal stress going on there). But my other guy just didn't get it and neither of us has been too motivated to try again. Well now the camp start date is here and he won't be able to go. I am so upset by this twin dilemma -- do I hold the trained guy back because it might feel strange for him to be apart from his twin? Do I let him go? What will that do to the one left behind?
I spend so much time trying to make decisions for two older sons that are the right decisions for their individual personalities, it's so rarely in relation to each other. But with the twins, it's hard not to think of them in relation to each other, yet hard to know where the greater sensitivities might lie. Truth is, they deserve to be treated as individuals but their bond is so special, it needs to be treated with respect, too. I am just torn up thinking about separating them, but I am leaning toward sending my trained guy. He worked hard to lose that diaper and I know that he will love camp.
Another layer of this involves their personalities. The untrained guy is generally shy and mellow. I suspect that if the underwear were on the other booty, he would not want to go to camp without his twin. So that gets me wondering how the decisions we make as parents fulfill the personality traits we observe in our children. Do we nurture them toward certain characteristics that we suspect we observe in their nature? Will sending my outgoing and confident son to this new adventure further solidify for his twin that his role is destined to be the guy left behind? Could I be more neurotic????
For all the excitement of our life right now, this is all I can think about. How do we do right by our twins? I suspect the challenge will be with us for years to come.
Many months ago I registered both of them for a week at a nature camp that starts Monday. The camp requires its students to be fully potty trained. Back in May, when I went cold turkey with them, one of my guys got it and has been great ever since (although he did poop in his pants several times in a week when we moved to our new house, so clearly there was some internal stress going on there). But my other guy just didn't get it and neither of us has been too motivated to try again. Well now the camp start date is here and he won't be able to go. I am so upset by this twin dilemma -- do I hold the trained guy back because it might feel strange for him to be apart from his twin? Do I let him go? What will that do to the one left behind?
I spend so much time trying to make decisions for two older sons that are the right decisions for their individual personalities, it's so rarely in relation to each other. But with the twins, it's hard not to think of them in relation to each other, yet hard to know where the greater sensitivities might lie. Truth is, they deserve to be treated as individuals but their bond is so special, it needs to be treated with respect, too. I am just torn up thinking about separating them, but I am leaning toward sending my trained guy. He worked hard to lose that diaper and I know that he will love camp.
Another layer of this involves their personalities. The untrained guy is generally shy and mellow. I suspect that if the underwear were on the other booty, he would not want to go to camp without his twin. So that gets me wondering how the decisions we make as parents fulfill the personality traits we observe in our children. Do we nurture them toward certain characteristics that we suspect we observe in their nature? Will sending my outgoing and confident son to this new adventure further solidify for his twin that his role is destined to be the guy left behind? Could I be more neurotic????
For all the excitement of our life right now, this is all I can think about. How do we do right by our twins? I suspect the challenge will be with us for years to come.
Labels: parental angst, twin development
posted by Cathleen at
9:31 PM
2 Comments
